the last -teen

salam to all.

ohh.. i wish i could stop the time!! no matter how many silly things i'll do, the time will be still tick tocking. i cant stand amid the haze while watching people moving around me. time doesnt wait!! wake up, nur hidayah johari. YOU ARE 19 TODAY.

talk about being 19, yeah, it is my last young teenage year. after this i will be 20,21,22 and so on.. which no more -teen in my age number. despite whatever ppl said about age is only a number, we are growing up. face the fact that we are going to die. DIE.

i dont really remember (obviously) how was I during 19 years ago, i mean, the first day that i started to see the world - a sphere that worshipped by human being. but i hardly remember pieces of my life since around 10 years ago, when i was 9. everyone in this world eager to celebrate the millennium century coming. and at that time, i felt like i was an adult, and i did not wanted to grow up anymore. mainly because of i refused to sit for my PTS exam. hahahh.

now i've grown up. i've learned my things. foremost, i learnt that not all people in this whole world would have the same tastes, same views, same perceptions, same feelings, same hearts, same dos and donts with me. people are all different and we are complementary to each other. i learn to respect people, i learn to understand them as the way they are. and i am still learning. but sometimes i just dont understand. we are much different until what i've done without intention could hurt them. and sometimes i can be tooooooo sensitive over nothing and started not to talk to certain ppl, in particularly the very close people. Humans are just too peculiar, arent they? admit, even until now, i repeat the mistakes. it just something that i cant avoid ; playing with other people feeling.

but bare in your mind, dj. the biggest mistake that one can do is not learning from their past mistakes.

10 years had passed and i learn to be more mature in handling problems or even make statements. and alhamdulillah, i know Allah still loves me. thats why He gave me all the sweet dreams and punched me back. To realise my mistakes, to change. people must CHANGE. even barack obama use this word, CHANGE. Allah told us to change, dear.

now i'm standing here,, nope2, err actually i'm sitting here and typing =) observe the world. observe the people. and observe myself. when i looked at a kid, i will automatically recalled my past time, just when i was a kid. i envy them. i wish that i could move anticlockwise and returned to the past. i really2 wish that i could do that. i wanted to change my history. i wanted to study everything. i wanted not into any guys. i wanted not to be that stupid. regret.

Imam Ghazali said, the farthest time from us is our past, the nearest is our death. thats so true!

so now, i'm wondering, who am i in 10 years time? what would i be? i hope, sometime at the age of 29, i shall not look at 19 year old 'kids' and said, "ohh, how i regret for not using my time to practise all my needs now! how i wish i could move anticlockwise and return to the past"

Tuhan, mohon keampunanMu.
Tuhan, mohon bantuanMu.
Tuhan, mohon taufik dan hidayahMu.
Tuhan, mohon kekuatanMu.
Tuhan, mohon hidupkan kami dalam agamaMu.
Tuhan, mohon matikan kami dalam iman yang utuh kepadaMu.

amiiinn.

sorry for all grammatical errors. we are learning. =)


....................................................................................................................................................

thanx everyone for those wishes.. mwahx2 balik.

actually, den baru bangun nehhh... tertido. sedar2 jek, banyak call masuk, banyak sms masuk.. see, seeeee i fofular youu...

tapi sorry sangat sangat sangat sebab x answer 1 pon phone call, sebab x larat. i guess because of the medications. ubat tu nantok!!

i'm desperate to stay up todayyy... mahu siapkan maths. haiyarkk..

and this is from my family, thanx ibu ayah angah dikna kak in abe meeyan!! love you guys till death.

padan muka meeyan kene cream! haha. abe ponnn..

ohh.. till then.

later!

=D